not sure if i am...

a writer.

what makes a writer nowadays? do you only have to be a memoirist, a creative writer, a novelist, a blogger? what if you write things that aren't that "fun"?

i'm in the middle of writing a policy brief on transitional jobs models and homelessness for this conference in july. a nice side project for InclusionUS, and it's nice to get back into the swing of it, even if it doesn't pay. just keep putting publications no matter how big or small on the CV, i suppose. i think just the fact that i'm trying to collect publications rather than pins on pinterest is a sign that i am either a.) maybe actually trying to do this whole "academic" thing, b.) neither crafty, domestic, or trendy in any way or b.) a sad, nerdy combination of both a and b. i'm sure there are people out there like me, and i'm positive they're currently wearing sweatpants or old Adidas shorts (my writing gear of choice) and they're most likely surrounded by old glasses of water or tea.

one day i'll find my kindred spirits and they're probably hiding in a university somewhere.

so, for those who are writers, who teach future writers (that's for you, Nancy!), i was motivated by this McSweeney's column: "The Ultimate Guide to Writing Better Than You Normally Do."
one of my favorite parts of this is absolutely fantastic, and what i'm currently struggling with as i try and power through this brief:
---
                                              DON'T PROCRASTINATE 
Procrastination is an alluring siren taunting you to Google the country where Balki from Perfect Strangers was from, and to arrange sticky notes on your dog in the shape of hilarious dog shorts. A wicked temptress beckoning you to watch your children, and take showers. Well, it’s time to look procrastination in the eye and tell that seafaring wench, “Sorry not today, today I write.”


--


so for all those on deadline, those who can't figure out how to start (let alone finish), i stand in solidarity with you. no, Weakley, you don't need to wander into the kitchen and eat another girl scout cookie, and you definitely don't need to look through someone's Thailand photos -- again. beat the seafaring wench, everyone. 

back in action - where i attempt to convey what's happening

it's pretty ironic that the last post from over a year ago involved me apologizing to my future engineer husband/boyfriend for dating that starving artist/poet. he may not be named Dan, but he's an engineer indeed and it turns out i did return his texts, he had no DVDs for me to steal, and he's smarter than me. all good things. oh, and he's from northern ireland and currently lives in scotland.

so there's that.

updates for the two people that read this: my contract with my current job ends at the end of this fiscal year so i'm thinking of heading to glasgow to live for a few months on a visitor's visa. ideally i'd like to get a job while i'm there and then get signed on with a work visa, but we'll see. i'm currently pinching pennies and saving so that i can do this little adventure without going bankrupt.

the great news is i'm also planning to apply to the University of Glasgow's PhD programme in Urban Studies to start September 2013. a long way off, i know, but i'm meeting with some professors when i go over for a conference in july (another story altogether) to figure out if my research interests align with what they're doing and then logistics. my professors at GW like to say that when a professor is trying to decide on a PhD candidate they just need to be able to say, "would i like to have lunch with this person?" except that lunch lasts 4 years. i'm hoping i'm smart enough and i end up writing a great proposal. i also hope that i don't have to take the GREs again. ick.

being a professor would be fantastic. i get to write articles (maybe a book), would get to talk in front of people for hours at a time and get paid for it, and everyone would HAVE to read my book/article. i can't think of a downside.

i'm headed to the UK from july 1-12 to see the boy, we're headed to n. ireland to visit his family (hopefully the weakley charm will work wonders) and then i'm headed to the Welfare to Work UK Conference in Birmingham, England through InclusionUS (a research and consulting firm i'm writing some stuff for). i'm excited to do some networking, present/circulate a policy paper i'm writing, and hanging out with some smart people. maybe i'll charm some folks into giving me a job or at least something to do while i'm in the UK for 3-6 months.

that's all for now, i promise to start writing more again. funny stories, too, and perhaps even a photo. here's one of the boy and i when i went to visit in march. this was in this national reserve in central england called milldale. not too shabby, i suppose.

my sister is hilarious (the future)

a text message conversation with brelin today (in typical text fashion there were a couple of trains of thought at the same time - i edited out the side conversation to create a better narrative):

brelin: Rob Lowe is so hot

me: I know! On the cover of vanity fair this month -- yes PLEASE.

b: hahaahah!!!

m: I have to forget he's almost old enough to be my dad.

b: Ewww, really?

m: oh yeah, he's definitely almost fifty.

b: how old is he?!? Ok just watching him getting interviewed about his autobiography on oprah / i'll keep you posted on all i learn

s: ok good then i don't have to give you the mental math i did based on his movies. i almost trivial pursuited myself thru his life, which would've been embarrassing.

b: he's 47

s: hahahahah! Knew it! i'm the shit.

b: ugh.... / i said that with the disdain of my empty trivial pursuit piece.

s: more embarrassing, though: i used "trivial pursuit" as a verb. / and this is why i'm alone, as joy and i say.

b: be embarrassed. hahaha!

s: one day i'll be at bar trivia and meet the love of my life. i can see it now.

b: except you'll find out he's an engineer, dump him -- and then go out with him again. / maybe marry him.

s: you're a monster.

b: i speak truth.

s: dammit. and i will dump him and date someone unemployed, of course, knowing full well Engineer Dan is the one i'll end up with.

b: yep. but until then, poor Dan will be left alone, scorned, wondering what is wrong with him.

[end of scene]

Engineer Dan --- i'm sorry. you're out there, i know you are. but you'll just have to wait until i'm done dating Blake/Tyler/Chase, the singer-songwriter/barista/bartender with no life goals who just wants to "live life and make people happy with my music/art/poetry." this is me apologizing in advance for not returning your calls or texts, not giving back that DVD you let me borrow, or telling you that "i'm not ready to be tied down yet." that wasn't nice. - sarah, your future girlfriend and wife.

relief (sorta)

welp, finally turned in my semester-long research paper for the only class i really care about, Race and Urban Redevelopment. i had the thrilling experience of returning 10 library books (3 of which i will be purchasing/requesting for my birthday), printing out the 24 pages the day before the paper was due, and busting out some really sweet quotes. i started out the paper with this really good one: "Poverty is a reflection of our failure to achieve a more rational, more responsible, more equitable distribution of the abundance that is within our grasp." how great, right? from a congressional hearing in 1964 about LBJ's War on Poverty programs, said by UAW President . (oh, fun fact -- if anyone says those programs didn't work, hit em with this: 22.2% poverty rate in 1960, 11.1 % in 1973.)

i still have another 8 pager, a take home exam, and another 4 pager due -- child's play compared to this 24 page beast. also, i kind of don't care about the others. so sue me.

whew...close to victory, people! Year 1 of MPA almost over --

shutdown

taking a short break from poverty research to update you all about the government shutdown situation. and then giving a little insight from a federal government worker who would be one of the 800,000 who would not be allowed to work on monday if it did shut down. as hopefully all of you have read, last night they passed a short term continuing resolution (CR) that will fund the government until Thursday to get the rest of the budget legislation and such passed. $38 billion in cuts, and thankfully no rider regarding women's health at all. i think every woman in DC would rally on the mall if that crap happens. that stuff is going to a vote next week, and it won't pass in the Senate. not a chance in hell.

however, one of the riders that did pass was Boehner's favorite DC Opportunity Scholarship program, which spends roughly $13M in funds for DC students to get vouchers and has not proven to work in the last 7 years. no empirical evidence showing that there have been any gains. . but no worries! fiscal austerity, right? i just hate that Boehner does crap like this to feel better about helping poor kids when it doesn't help at all, when the public school system is in shambles and there is little funding for any other large scale anti-poverty programs or initiatives at all in DC or in the even worse-off Prince George's county. don't even get me started on PG county. give me a call if you want an earful (which you don't, i guarantee you)... but i digress.

that means i get to go to work until Thursday. yep, the whole thing is is as ridiculous as it sounds.

friday i spent my entire day at the office getting emails about shutdown procedures, surrendering blackberry's and email addresses at the stroke of midnight, and refreshing the CNN political ticker every twenty minutes. everyone i know was watching MSNBC and CNN last night like it was the Oscars. preparing for this foolishness took basically the entire days of wednesday, thursday and friday for everyone's support staff. the whole thing was a circus. the good news is everyone can still get paid. including my little pittance of a paycheck -- which enables me to buy food. phew.

i continue to be amazed at the absurdity of my life. back to tax-base sharing for regional development intiatives! yeeeaaahhh!

finally

spring is finally here in baltimore! (that in every way deserves an exclamation point) no more snow, no more frost on my windshield, yessssssss. so in honor of the glorious day yesterday and more to come soon, this great poem by D.H. Lawrence:

The Enkindled Spring
by D. H. Lawrence

This spring as it comes bursts up in bonfires green,
Wild puffing of emerald trees, and flame-filled bushes,
Thorn-blossom lifting in wreaths of smoke between
Where the wood fumes up and the watery, flickering rushes.

I am amazed at this spring, this conflagration
Of green fires lit on the soil of the earth, this blaze
Of growing, and sparks that puff in wild gyration,
Faces of people streaming across my gaze.

And I, what fountain of fire am I among
This leaping combustion of spring? My spirit is tossed
About like a shadow buffeted in the throng
Of flames, ashadow that's gone astray, and is lost.

----------

i want to be a leaping fountain of fire.

fun

apparently i'm having too much of it.

i've heard from more than one family member/friend/classmate/acquaintance: "it seems like all you do is party all the time. i just don't know how you get things done."

well folks, here's my secret: you only hear the good stuff.

the key to being a storyteller, to being the life of the party, is to leave out all the banalities of your everyday existence. give people the reader's digest version. tell the same great story to more than one audience in a day. if it gets a laugh the first time, it will most likely get a laugh the second time. (the only downside is when there is one person who is there for multiple tellings of the story. then you preface it with, "i know joy's already heard this but...") problem solved. everyone gets to hear about the highlights of the Flip for Life tournament (edited per audience) and you seem like the coolest person in the world.

am i the coolest person in the world? hardly. but who wants to hear about my 4 hour round trip commute every day? no one. don't want to hear about the paper i'm writing about the failure of community development organizations to revitalize the central city and possible regional revenue sharing as an alternative? SHOCKING. i can almost certainly guarantee that when the words "inclusionary zoning" come out of my mouth in a room full of acquaintances, the audience is lost. totally lost. and now i'm known as the snooze who cares about expanding the stock of housing.

the few people who actually hear the boring stuff - the ones who get the full nerd-dom that is my life - feel honored (or bummed, i'm not sure). i trust you. you will be invited to the wedding. for most of the rest of the world: they just get the highlights.

some stories i've been telling:

- flip for life was a brilliant success. didn't know who was putting it on, but when joy and i got there we found out it was put on by the penn state alumni chapter of baltimore. they raised over $6000 for the children's hospital there, which was cool. it's a brilliant fundraising idea. i might've gone a little crazy with the beer in between the flip cup games, but oh well. once again, joy is responsible for my safety. someday, when i have resources, she will be paid out first.

- because of flip for life bruises sustained, i am forced to wear tights for this saturday's Trachtenberg School semi-formal SPRING FLING. yep, that's right. it's called SPRING FLING. we didn't even have something as childishly named in high school. we're headed into middle school Fun Friday land, here, and i'm not a fan. i'll keep my kelly kapowski scrunchie in my fanny pack just in case things get a little out of hand dancing to the latest New Kids jam.

meh, whatever. i love my classmates almost as much as i love an open bar.

- nerding out here, but i get to interview someone from the Urban Institute tomorrow about prison reentry policies and homelessness. the Urban Institute is my research mecca. so that's cool.

- going to the tropical vacation spot of TALLAHASSEE, FL next thursday to visit Mr. Andrew Winters. we talked about it when we were home for the holidays and we actually made it happen. we're gonna road trip to Orlando and see our college friend Karl, too. debauchery will ensue, a Waffle House will be attended. that's the only thing i have on the agenda. Winters needs a breath of fresh non-applied mathematics air, poor schmuck. a recent status update of his, proof that i need to bring in reinforcements: "‎6 hours of debugging to discover that the issue was an 'i' count variable where a 'j' count variable should have been in the nested loops calculating the flux. Oh grad school."

mortgages?

so, despite what my mother believes, i read and do homework. a lot. one of my favorite classes is Race and Urban Redevelopment, and we talk a lot about how public housing policies/exclusionary zoning laws/uneven development/lack of progressive tax structure/etc make poor people poor and why these poor people are disproportionately people of color and then we talk about how to make it better. most of the time, though, it's kinda depressing.

this fact knocked me down yesterday:

in Bethesda, Maryland (very wealthy white suburb if DC where the Vice President's House is) has 1 pediatrician for every 400 children. in southeast DC (Anacostia neighborhood, black) there is 1 pediatrician for every 3700 children.

it's because a fact like that exists that i'm totally okay with reading about subprime mortgage targeting to minority neighborhoods, the INSANELY strong positive correlation between the amount of segregation in a city and foreclosure rates, and figuring out just how subprime mortgages work ANYWAY at 10pm on a Monday night. and why those things continue to screw our cities up for the poorest people.

yep, i study poor people in cities. depressing yes, but necessary.

it's nice to know what i care about, after all this time.

radio

the only time i really listen to the radio is when i go to and from the train station (now that am committed to saving the environment in 2011, i don't drive to the DC metro station. also, the traffic has just been reported to officially be worse than Chicago). so, on a daily basis we're looking at 40 minutes tops of radio time. for apparently as "big" as Baltimore is, there is really no radio station variety. unlike seattle or at least the tri-cities, i can't find an oldies station, or any station that plays music from the 90s. trust me, i've tried. i've never yearned so bad for a hootie and the blowfish song.

106.5 and 104.3 play straight up, unadulterated pop music, and some of the time they are so synced that i can get pissed their playing Miley Cyrus on 104.3, switch to 106.5, and hear the SAME SONG on a twenty second delay. i wish i was making this up. so in my short time in the car i inevitably hear a song by katy perry, rihanna, pink, or nikki minaj. for my readers who don't have any clue who these people are, consider yourself lucky. i usually power through, knowing full well that if hit at the right moment i will sing along to "Your Love" (when i was a geisha/he was a samurai - yes, an actual lyric).

but some mornings i just can't take it. i'm trying to get into the zone of turning my brain on, i'm a little too tired and i just NPR out. right then, about 7:45, i hit Morning Edition and immediately i feel smarter and more informed. this morning, after a riveting piece about the high demand for bison meat (apparently one of the only industries that's growing at the moment) they started talking about Yemen. i know, i know, i should care about Yemen. there are terrorists there. but, i switched back to 106.5. and right after i heard,

'BABY YOU'RE A FIIIIIIIIRRRREEEWOOORRRRKKKK! COME O---"

done. i hate you, katy perry. and i will listen to the U.S. Ambassador to Yemen talk about "diplomacy in the face of terrorist threats" all day if it means you are silenced.

maybe this means i'm an adult. or at least uncool.

a good line

for my five blog readers, my apologies for not giving you all a good holiday wrap up. i'm back in baltimore now, am on day 3 of camping out in my obnoxious pink fleece pants, and missing WA a bit. back to reality and starting the new jobs on tuesday. thankfully i don't start school until the 10th, so i have a little more time to ease into it. i still don't have my syllabi for two of my three courses anyway, so it looks like i'll be flying blind.

but a quip from my new year's eve in baltimore, celebrated at a bar with joy:

it's roughly 11:30, and with the staggering fee to get in, the open bar is flowing. gotta send out the first decade of the millenium with vodka tonics. it really is the best way.

the crowd is snazzy to say the least. joy and i missed the memo about donning a fully sequined mini-dress/skirt, so i feel kind of out of place even with my nice skirt and shiny shoes. i don't do sequins. the women are generally skanky looking and the men are in dark suits or shirts. not a white shirt or jeans to be found on a man...except one person. every time i saw this guy walking around the bar, dressed in jeans, scruffy beard, glasses, and a white striped/patterned button-down i kept singing to myself, "one of these things is not like the other." in my head, i knew: engineer/nerd type. i have a radar for these guys nowadays.

i keep dancing and he comes up to me and begins with this line: "i think you're cute." allllright. thanks.

after my slightly shocked response (men are rarely that forward/not sleazy nowadays) he utters the single best line ever uttered to me at a bar (name changed): "my name is Dave and i have a unicycle."

sold.

side note: i'm batting .1000, he's an engineer. for NASA.

things i'm finding funny - and side stories

well my hours at work have been reduced (which means i get to wait impatiently around to hear back from internships i've applied for). this also means i'm happier.

somehow, though, i'm not any less tired. finals are roaring ahead and this weekend i have a giant econ policy brief to do, an SPSS lab, and another giant stats worksheet. also, i'm going to apply for another few internships (why not?). instead of me doing these things now, i'm catching up on my homework and generally dorking around. not productive dorking, mind you, just dorking.

some of my favorite/funny things:

- the store Fishs Eddy in Union Square in NYC. Mo and Andrew took me there because every time i visit i am envious of their dishes. it's like ironic/cute/fun/cheap good quality dishes and general kitchen things. i didn't think i would be that excited about plates, but when the plates look like a NY Times crossword puzzle, i can get excited.

- we have OnDemand (thank you for making a priority, Charita Ray) and watched the HBO Documentary about this hilarious writer Fran Lebowitz. i'm sure all the people who read this over the age of 35 already know her, but the documentary Public Speaking by Martin Scorcese is hilarious. i might have to watch it again and write down her hilarious quotes next time. one i can remember:

Question from audience member: Who do you go for for a second opinion?

Fran: Why would I need to do that?

also: "It's wonderful being right all the time because then you get to observe everyone else being wrong."

i like her.

- also, McSweeney's posted an article entitled the "Butterball Helpline Help-line," which Mo read on Thanksgiving while i watched the parade. My favorite line from it: "Nutmeg is a jerk."

- my cousin steve on the phone on thanksgiving hearing that i'm in New York, the first thing he said, "last time i was in New York City i got stuck in the middle of the gay pride parade."

say no more.

surprising/lame/happy

i'm epically failing at keeping my life together, and the blog has fallen by the wayside. apologies to my three faithful readers.

some things that have recently come to light (surprising/lame/happy)

- i'm looking for a new internship for the spring semester. this means i've been constantly tweaking my resume and cover letter. since i want to work in urban redevelopment/housing issues, i'm applying for jobs/internships in that realm. most are due by the end of November, so i'm feeling positive. as i've explained to most of you, i can't be an accountant anymore (even though i'm glad to have learned the skill without having to spend money on a college course). onward and upward.

- i'm not terrible at Economics. this was the surprising one. although i still have the final to take, i did very well on the midterm and i'm actually understanding it. i'm guessing the reason that i did so terribly in Econ 198 in undergrad was because i was too busy planning my wedding/life together with the guy i sat next to and had a giant crush on. he got an A. i did not. typical.

- i shouldn't try and write a paper about something i'm not interested in the day after halloween. this isn't HD 101 anymore, Sarah, get with it.

- poor Blue Steel's window got smashed in by some kids when i left my ipod in there and they wanted it. a hiccup in my last Saturday. i hope they enjoyed the indie folk rock and whitney houston.

- vegan roommate Leslie is back in the house! an exciting new development. she has inspired me with her presence - i have upped my fruit intake three fold this week already. (my diet is abysmal to say the least). and no, joy, i haven't had any vegetables this week at the house. i'm not going crazy here.

- registered for the Spring semester: Public Budgeting (potential snooze, but a core course), Race and Urban Redevelopment, and Urban Politics. i'm very excited :)

- started reading Diary of a Bad Year by J.M. Coetzee. it's very good, but every time i read a book for fun i feel guilty for not studying something else.

- sometimes i just have to shut my brain off and watch the Kardashians. so sue me.

in sum, i'm trying to keep my head above water until Thanksgiving, when i make the adventure to NYC once again for what will prove to be another delicious meal and Andrew's home brew.

not happening

the church internet/server thing for the whole building has just blocked facebook at work.

this is not happening.

home again home again...

...pigeldy pig. (oft-quoted by my pop, Steve-O).

september was nuts. i remember telling people when i started school at the end of August that all i wanted to do was get through september and it'll be smooth sailing.

well, it's kinda smooth sailing now. (barring the whole full time school/part time work thing)

two cross country trips, a weekend retreat in virginia, and a whole day last weekend in DC for a personality-type training thing for school. it's finally over, and i'm tired.

i used the imminent basement flooding situation (have you seen the weather reports about the mid-Atlantic? yowsa) to ask my boss if i can work from home today (Friday) and he graciously let me. i only had to bail the reservoir in the back of my house once, and it looks like the rains are gone for now. so i slept in until 8, emailed the pants off board members and co-workers, and started my stats project.

i have lots to do this weekend in both school and social events (far be it from me to miss a SOCIAL event). but i'm taking it all in stride because i'm home.

finally.

i never liked my house more, never wanted to make a real meal in my house more (mind you, real meals are usually pasta roni, but still), and haven't been this excited to put on an Ohio State shirt on saturday and finally be with people who won't ask me where i'm from AGAIN.

mostly, though, baltimore isn't DC.

while i'm going to move down to DC in july, it's so nice to get away from it all right now. i can drive my car, i don't have to wear closed-toe shoes, i don't have to always pretend to care about the mid-term elections, and i don't have to think about work. the culture in DC is so hurried and *cough* pretentious at times that it's exhausting. yes, i know you went to Brandeis, but i care more if you're willing to sit down and drink a Miller Light with me and tell a good story. sometimes i get the feeling that the culture of DC is one of sales: everyone's selling their candidate, their merit, their political agenda, their ambition. and many people ask me "where i see myself in five to ten years." (before i started school, i thought that question was only for job interviews...i was wrong).

did i mention it's exhausting?

i love baltimore because it's a different world. it's kitschy, it's' working class, it's ghetto and grimy in many many ways. i care about mid-term elections, yes; i also care about my career and want to be successful, i have goals. but sometimes, i just want to throw my hair up with my ripped jeans and walk around fell's point. without ever thinking about what i want to be when i grow up. right now, i just want to be happy.

i don't think that's unambitious of me.

sarah (#1)

she shared a room with me when i was 6 - i remember the piece of paper i put on the door of our room (Sarah #1 and Sarah #2 live here!) in my six year old scratch. my bed was on the left side and hers was on the left. i hope i was a good roommate, because she was. so neat, so organized, minimalist (Depression-Era to a T). she lived there until she moved to her own apartment a block away from The Weakley's house on Pike St. -- Jadwin St., Apt. A. whenever i go back to the tri-cities and am driving on McMurray or Jadwin I'll think of her. the space she occupied there.

she used wax paper for my lunches when she packed them (always better than when dad did), and sometimes i even remembered to save the wax paper so she could reuse it

i have her name.

i have her feet - high heels are a killer.

i don't quite have her gift for cooking, yet. hopefully one day i'll be able to master the pies with the evergreen trees in them. and the bunny bread (although brelin already has that under control.)

some phenomenal advice: "the best way to get a man is just to trip him. that way, he'll fall down right in front of you, you take care of him and then he'll realize how wonderful you are."

she used to sing "Three Cornered Hat" in German.

she made my favorite prom/homecoming dresses, always there in the clutch when the hem was wrong or the material too difficult to work with. such patience and talent.

the last time i saw her the conversation started with, "so, who are you bossing around nowadays?" -- she knew me too well.

her brothers and sisters called nicknamed her "Saint Sarah" for very good reason.

impeccable kindness, impeccable determination, impeccable faith.

i only hope that my life is one she'd be proud of.

i love you, grandma sarah.

--

January 11, 1919 - September 23, 2010

--

bring out the side ponytails

it's been far too long since i've had time to update you on the current situation, but mostly it consists of working and studying. i knew this was coming, but yet i'm still surprised that i rarely have time to see BFF Bacon. upsetting, yes.

most notably, school started once again. i like all the people in my program and i'm starting to think i might not suck at statistics quite as bad as i anticipated. it is, however, only the third week of classes. check back with me mid-October.

it's refreshing to be back on a college campus, where it's ok to park yourself for three hours and just read. i've also made a gigantic change to my studying: i actually use the library. i'm here all the time it seems, mostly because there's a starbucks attached to it. those GW folks, they know how to get kids to do work. i'm a sucker once again.

the only thing i'm struggling with is my attitude towards undergrads. i'm trying to remember how i used to walk around like i owned the place (which wasn't too long ago) and had to contest with swarms of giggling sorority girls on Letter Days (Wednesdays). but the undergrads are a different breed here at GW. for one, not a scraggly beard or flannel shirt to be found. this definitely gives me the "i'm not in kansas anymore" feeling that i've mostly been able to skirt. this clean-shaven better-hygiene phenomenon is mostly attributed to the culture of the east coast, which i understand. (side note: i usually have to text joy when i see a good beard)

...but there's a general sense of entitlement of the preppy undergrads. a general nose-in-the-air approach to life. as if the mere fact of them getting into this university means you can give me dirty looks for my birkenstocks or crowd the door of the starbucks with your talk to joey's party and the lacrosse game.

and side ponytails with leggings. we don't have enough time for that discussion.

suffice it to say, this is a generalization. yes, i'm making my prejudices known.

there are exceptions to the rule (see: high school classmates who i actually knew who went here for undergrad and were transplanted from the West) but generally, i'm not a fan. i'm sure that someday soon my feelings will change drastically and i'll begin to adopt my general "Rainbow Connection" attitude toward life. it's inevitable. but today, there was just one side ponytail sighting too many.

it is nice, though, to point out the ones who look like they're twelve. i just want to give them a hug and tell them it's going to be ok.

some thinkings: my war

i should say something because of Obama's speech on iraq today, when he officially says we've ended combat missions. it's weird though, my good friend from college, Tom, is one of the 50,000 troops headed over there now. my head's still there.

--

iraq is my generation's war. but unlike the vietnam war and its pervasiveness on my parents' generation, most of us (Gen Y-ers) forget that we're there. while it is true that the violence was never as high, nor have the deaths reached a staggering number (although, how many deaths does 'a lot' constitute, in a war that we've been in almost 10 years?), the politics, the scandals, and the hatred surrounding this war is felt in a real way by people like me.

i think my generation won't really start thinking about it until years down the road. it's too complicated, too much other information that we'd rather be reading (jersey shore, anyone?). which is sad.

and the thing is, i don't think we understand it because so many people have different opinions on it -- why we were there, why we stayed there, how we could've gotten out. ask anyone the question of "was the iraq war a good idea?" and they'll have a gut reaction (for me, NO) and then they'll probably say ("but..."). it's the 'but...' where it gets murky. and we don't like murky. so many different problems and politics gumming up our black and white answers. while i have a black and white answer, i couldn't come up with a great debate. i just couldn't.

--

the New York Times today does an awesome job summing it up with this slideshow, which i found very powerful. they're coverage in the articles is great too, so if you have time, check those out.

--

i remember clearly when the war started, the 'mission accomplished' flub, and the first time i knew someone personally who went over there and got wounded (my first "boyfriend"). my international problems teacher in high school, Mr. Mars, was the one who made me pay attention. he wrote the deaths and the casualties on the board every day -- 60, 75, 81 -- didn't seem like that many to us, we thought. but now, the death toll is roughly 4,500 Americans and far too many iraqis for anyone to get a solid number, and many, many more wounded.

freedom? liberty? democracy?

... i'll have to try and explain this to my kids.

nixon and kinetic sculptures

i can't believe i haven't told you all about the greatest museum (perhaps in the country) but i am now.

i went with little sarah and charita in january, but i remembered its brilliance when i took andrew, alyssa and joy back when they visited.

the American Visionary Art Museum is so badass, i can't begin to tell you. they specialize in "folk art," but it's so much more than that. it's a collaboration of art from people doing great things on the margins of society - in mental institutions, prisons, in their little trailers in north carolina, etc. from giant kinetic sculptures, glass and crystal mosaics, recreations of paintings from the MoMA done in miniature (by a guy in New York in his tiny apartment). basically, it's a celebration of art by individuals that don't normally get recognized. which makes my bleeding heart bleed a bit more.

their current exhibition is called "life liberty and the pursuit of happiness." i cry every time. it's about race, war, stigma, and the people creating brilliant pieces of art about these topics (and in spite of their seemingly dire situations). the exhibit ends soon, but check out some of their art. and if you're in the baltimore/DC area, check it out.

i'm jazzed to see the next exhibit. odds are, i'll cry. again.

also, their gift shop is awesome. it's like they took cast offs of old/quirky promo materials and art books, posters, and (if you're from the tri-cities) The Octupus' Garden crap and put it in a room. i picked up a thermos mug of THE NEW KIDS ON THE BLOCK for one dollar, and then i sent my father an oversized postcard of Richard Nixon.

only at the AVAM, my friends.

side note:

on the postcard i wrote to my father, i mentioned that his statements regarding Nixon as a "f-ing moron" helped me become a politically savvy woman i am today. i was corrected.

my dad: "you got it wrong, Squidly. Nixon was a f--ing WEASEL. Now REAGAN was an f--ing moron."

whew, glad that got cleared up.

irrelevant

i'll be posting pictures and musings from the PHENOMENAL visit to baltimore from alyssa and andrew, but here's a gem from this morning's conversation with my mother.

me: i have a date with door #3 tonight.

mom: oh, who's this? what's his name again? ....or does that not really matter at this point?

me: names are irrelevant until after the third date.

mom: ok, that makes it easier.

shacking up

... at a library again.
alyssa and andrew are coming into town starting on thursday and i cannot be more jazzed. i was talking to andrew last night and we figured out that it's been roughly 3 1/2 years since me, andrew, joy, and alyssa have been in the same room. it doesn't feel like that long, but i suppose it has. crazy.
so, needless to say i'm trying to get everything together in order for me to fully focus on the visitors -- my boss is out of town and without email (so no email checking will happen at midnight for me!) and then...
i got my first freelance writing gig!
the timing, not so much perfect. i have to have a first 3,000 word sample for a textbook chapter on swing era jazz due the 19th. that's in 9 days. 7 of those days my friends are here. alright, weakley, it's go time.
so tomorrow, i'm headed to the Pratt Library to finally get a card (for you and me, alyssa) and hang out for three hours. i'm hoping to be able to start writing at least a little bit and get all the research done.
i can do this.
i think.