my sister is hilarious (the future)

a text message conversation with brelin today (in typical text fashion there were a couple of trains of thought at the same time - i edited out the side conversation to create a better narrative):

brelin: Rob Lowe is so hot

me: I know! On the cover of vanity fair this month -- yes PLEASE.

b: hahaahah!!!

m: I have to forget he's almost old enough to be my dad.

b: Ewww, really?

m: oh yeah, he's definitely almost fifty.

b: how old is he?!? Ok just watching him getting interviewed about his autobiography on oprah / i'll keep you posted on all i learn

s: ok good then i don't have to give you the mental math i did based on his movies. i almost trivial pursuited myself thru his life, which would've been embarrassing.

b: he's 47

s: hahahahah! Knew it! i'm the shit.

b: ugh.... / i said that with the disdain of my empty trivial pursuit piece.

s: more embarrassing, though: i used "trivial pursuit" as a verb. / and this is why i'm alone, as joy and i say.

b: be embarrassed. hahaha!

s: one day i'll be at bar trivia and meet the love of my life. i can see it now.

b: except you'll find out he's an engineer, dump him -- and then go out with him again. / maybe marry him.

s: you're a monster.

b: i speak truth.

s: dammit. and i will dump him and date someone unemployed, of course, knowing full well Engineer Dan is the one i'll end up with.

b: yep. but until then, poor Dan will be left alone, scorned, wondering what is wrong with him.

[end of scene]

Engineer Dan --- i'm sorry. you're out there, i know you are. but you'll just have to wait until i'm done dating Blake/Tyler/Chase, the singer-songwriter/barista/bartender with no life goals who just wants to "live life and make people happy with my music/art/poetry." this is me apologizing in advance for not returning your calls or texts, not giving back that DVD you let me borrow, or telling you that "i'm not ready to be tied down yet." that wasn't nice. - sarah, your future girlfriend and wife.

relief (sorta)

welp, finally turned in my semester-long research paper for the only class i really care about, Race and Urban Redevelopment. i had the thrilling experience of returning 10 library books (3 of which i will be purchasing/requesting for my birthday), printing out the 24 pages the day before the paper was due, and busting out some really sweet quotes. i started out the paper with this really good one: "Poverty is a reflection of our failure to achieve a more rational, more responsible, more equitable distribution of the abundance that is within our grasp." how great, right? from a congressional hearing in 1964 about LBJ's War on Poverty programs, said by UAW President . (oh, fun fact -- if anyone says those programs didn't work, hit em with this: 22.2% poverty rate in 1960, 11.1 % in 1973.)

i still have another 8 pager, a take home exam, and another 4 pager due -- child's play compared to this 24 page beast. also, i kind of don't care about the others. so sue me.

whew...close to victory, people! Year 1 of MPA almost over --

shutdown

taking a short break from poverty research to update you all about the government shutdown situation. and then giving a little insight from a federal government worker who would be one of the 800,000 who would not be allowed to work on monday if it did shut down. as hopefully all of you have read, last night they passed a short term continuing resolution (CR) that will fund the government until Thursday to get the rest of the budget legislation and such passed. $38 billion in cuts, and thankfully no rider regarding women's health at all. i think every woman in DC would rally on the mall if that crap happens. that stuff is going to a vote next week, and it won't pass in the Senate. not a chance in hell.

however, one of the riders that did pass was Boehner's favorite DC Opportunity Scholarship program, which spends roughly $13M in funds for DC students to get vouchers and has not proven to work in the last 7 years. no empirical evidence showing that there have been any gains. . but no worries! fiscal austerity, right? i just hate that Boehner does crap like this to feel better about helping poor kids when it doesn't help at all, when the public school system is in shambles and there is little funding for any other large scale anti-poverty programs or initiatives at all in DC or in the even worse-off Prince George's county. don't even get me started on PG county. give me a call if you want an earful (which you don't, i guarantee you)... but i digress.

that means i get to go to work until Thursday. yep, the whole thing is is as ridiculous as it sounds.

friday i spent my entire day at the office getting emails about shutdown procedures, surrendering blackberry's and email addresses at the stroke of midnight, and refreshing the CNN political ticker every twenty minutes. everyone i know was watching MSNBC and CNN last night like it was the Oscars. preparing for this foolishness took basically the entire days of wednesday, thursday and friday for everyone's support staff. the whole thing was a circus. the good news is everyone can still get paid. including my little pittance of a paycheck -- which enables me to buy food. phew.

i continue to be amazed at the absurdity of my life. back to tax-base sharing for regional development intiatives! yeeeaaahhh!

finally

spring is finally here in baltimore! (that in every way deserves an exclamation point) no more snow, no more frost on my windshield, yessssssss. so in honor of the glorious day yesterday and more to come soon, this great poem by D.H. Lawrence:

The Enkindled Spring
by D. H. Lawrence

This spring as it comes bursts up in bonfires green,
Wild puffing of emerald trees, and flame-filled bushes,
Thorn-blossom lifting in wreaths of smoke between
Where the wood fumes up and the watery, flickering rushes.

I am amazed at this spring, this conflagration
Of green fires lit on the soil of the earth, this blaze
Of growing, and sparks that puff in wild gyration,
Faces of people streaming across my gaze.

And I, what fountain of fire am I among
This leaping combustion of spring? My spirit is tossed
About like a shadow buffeted in the throng
Of flames, ashadow that's gone astray, and is lost.

----------

i want to be a leaping fountain of fire.

fun

apparently i'm having too much of it.

i've heard from more than one family member/friend/classmate/acquaintance: "it seems like all you do is party all the time. i just don't know how you get things done."

well folks, here's my secret: you only hear the good stuff.

the key to being a storyteller, to being the life of the party, is to leave out all the banalities of your everyday existence. give people the reader's digest version. tell the same great story to more than one audience in a day. if it gets a laugh the first time, it will most likely get a laugh the second time. (the only downside is when there is one person who is there for multiple tellings of the story. then you preface it with, "i know joy's already heard this but...") problem solved. everyone gets to hear about the highlights of the Flip for Life tournament (edited per audience) and you seem like the coolest person in the world.

am i the coolest person in the world? hardly. but who wants to hear about my 4 hour round trip commute every day? no one. don't want to hear about the paper i'm writing about the failure of community development organizations to revitalize the central city and possible regional revenue sharing as an alternative? SHOCKING. i can almost certainly guarantee that when the words "inclusionary zoning" come out of my mouth in a room full of acquaintances, the audience is lost. totally lost. and now i'm known as the snooze who cares about expanding the stock of housing.

the few people who actually hear the boring stuff - the ones who get the full nerd-dom that is my life - feel honored (or bummed, i'm not sure). i trust you. you will be invited to the wedding. for most of the rest of the world: they just get the highlights.

some stories i've been telling:

- flip for life was a brilliant success. didn't know who was putting it on, but when joy and i got there we found out it was put on by the penn state alumni chapter of baltimore. they raised over $6000 for the children's hospital there, which was cool. it's a brilliant fundraising idea. i might've gone a little crazy with the beer in between the flip cup games, but oh well. once again, joy is responsible for my safety. someday, when i have resources, she will be paid out first.

- because of flip for life bruises sustained, i am forced to wear tights for this saturday's Trachtenberg School semi-formal SPRING FLING. yep, that's right. it's called SPRING FLING. we didn't even have something as childishly named in high school. we're headed into middle school Fun Friday land, here, and i'm not a fan. i'll keep my kelly kapowski scrunchie in my fanny pack just in case things get a little out of hand dancing to the latest New Kids jam.

meh, whatever. i love my classmates almost as much as i love an open bar.

- nerding out here, but i get to interview someone from the Urban Institute tomorrow about prison reentry policies and homelessness. the Urban Institute is my research mecca. so that's cool.

- going to the tropical vacation spot of TALLAHASSEE, FL next thursday to visit Mr. Andrew Winters. we talked about it when we were home for the holidays and we actually made it happen. we're gonna road trip to Orlando and see our college friend Karl, too. debauchery will ensue, a Waffle House will be attended. that's the only thing i have on the agenda. Winters needs a breath of fresh non-applied mathematics air, poor schmuck. a recent status update of his, proof that i need to bring in reinforcements: "‎6 hours of debugging to discover that the issue was an 'i' count variable where a 'j' count variable should have been in the nested loops calculating the flux. Oh grad school."

mortgages?

so, despite what my mother believes, i read and do homework. a lot. one of my favorite classes is Race and Urban Redevelopment, and we talk a lot about how public housing policies/exclusionary zoning laws/uneven development/lack of progressive tax structure/etc make poor people poor and why these poor people are disproportionately people of color and then we talk about how to make it better. most of the time, though, it's kinda depressing.

this fact knocked me down yesterday:

in Bethesda, Maryland (very wealthy white suburb if DC where the Vice President's House is) has 1 pediatrician for every 400 children. in southeast DC (Anacostia neighborhood, black) there is 1 pediatrician for every 3700 children.

it's because a fact like that exists that i'm totally okay with reading about subprime mortgage targeting to minority neighborhoods, the INSANELY strong positive correlation between the amount of segregation in a city and foreclosure rates, and figuring out just how subprime mortgages work ANYWAY at 10pm on a Monday night. and why those things continue to screw our cities up for the poorest people.

yep, i study poor people in cities. depressing yes, but necessary.

it's nice to know what i care about, after all this time.

radio

the only time i really listen to the radio is when i go to and from the train station (now that am committed to saving the environment in 2011, i don't drive to the DC metro station. also, the traffic has just been reported to officially be worse than Chicago). so, on a daily basis we're looking at 40 minutes tops of radio time. for apparently as "big" as Baltimore is, there is really no radio station variety. unlike seattle or at least the tri-cities, i can't find an oldies station, or any station that plays music from the 90s. trust me, i've tried. i've never yearned so bad for a hootie and the blowfish song.

106.5 and 104.3 play straight up, unadulterated pop music, and some of the time they are so synced that i can get pissed their playing Miley Cyrus on 104.3, switch to 106.5, and hear the SAME SONG on a twenty second delay. i wish i was making this up. so in my short time in the car i inevitably hear a song by katy perry, rihanna, pink, or nikki minaj. for my readers who don't have any clue who these people are, consider yourself lucky. i usually power through, knowing full well that if hit at the right moment i will sing along to "Your Love" (when i was a geisha/he was a samurai - yes, an actual lyric).

but some mornings i just can't take it. i'm trying to get into the zone of turning my brain on, i'm a little too tired and i just NPR out. right then, about 7:45, i hit Morning Edition and immediately i feel smarter and more informed. this morning, after a riveting piece about the high demand for bison meat (apparently one of the only industries that's growing at the moment) they started talking about Yemen. i know, i know, i should care about Yemen. there are terrorists there. but, i switched back to 106.5. and right after i heard,

'BABY YOU'RE A FIIIIIIIIRRRREEEWOOORRRRKKKK! COME O---"

done. i hate you, katy perry. and i will listen to the U.S. Ambassador to Yemen talk about "diplomacy in the face of terrorist threats" all day if it means you are silenced.

maybe this means i'm an adult. or at least uncool.

a good line

for my five blog readers, my apologies for not giving you all a good holiday wrap up. i'm back in baltimore now, am on day 3 of camping out in my obnoxious pink fleece pants, and missing WA a bit. back to reality and starting the new jobs on tuesday. thankfully i don't start school until the 10th, so i have a little more time to ease into it. i still don't have my syllabi for two of my three courses anyway, so it looks like i'll be flying blind.

but a quip from my new year's eve in baltimore, celebrated at a bar with joy:

it's roughly 11:30, and with the staggering fee to get in, the open bar is flowing. gotta send out the first decade of the millenium with vodka tonics. it really is the best way.

the crowd is snazzy to say the least. joy and i missed the memo about donning a fully sequined mini-dress/skirt, so i feel kind of out of place even with my nice skirt and shiny shoes. i don't do sequins. the women are generally skanky looking and the men are in dark suits or shirts. not a white shirt or jeans to be found on a man...except one person. every time i saw this guy walking around the bar, dressed in jeans, scruffy beard, glasses, and a white striped/patterned button-down i kept singing to myself, "one of these things is not like the other." in my head, i knew: engineer/nerd type. i have a radar for these guys nowadays.

i keep dancing and he comes up to me and begins with this line: "i think you're cute." allllright. thanks.

after my slightly shocked response (men are rarely that forward/not sleazy nowadays) he utters the single best line ever uttered to me at a bar (name changed): "my name is Dave and i have a unicycle."

sold.

side note: i'm batting .1000, he's an engineer. for NASA.